What I Never Was
by Rainmist94
Summary: Mosskit died too young. But she lives on as a member of StarClan. This is the story of how her life could have been, but instead of growing up in the Clans, she grows up in StarClan, where she learns of the prophecies that threaten her Clan and endanger the forest. Is it all too much for this kit to understand?
1. Prologue

**A/N: The title might get changed, but for now I'm sticking with it. This is my take on how Mosskit's life might have been. I've never written anything like this before so****_ constructive _****criticism would be acceptable. Please R&R.**

Prologue

"Let's play a game," Bluefur meowed, keeping her voice low.

It was just before dawn. "What game?" Stonekit, Mosskit's brother, asked.

"Its called Secret Escape," her mother explained. "We pretend ShadowClan have invaded and we need to take refuge at Sunningrocks."

"We're leaving camp?" Mosskit stared at her with wide blue eyes.

Nudging her, Stonekit pointed out, "How else would we get to Sunningrocks, mouse-brain?"

"We've never been out of camp before," Mosskit fretted, "We're too little."

"And I'm hungry," complained Mistykit.

"Okay, first we'll eat, then we can play." Bluefur's mew was soft. "Mosskit, you're a big strong kit now. You'll be fine, I promise."

After drinking the little milk their mother had, they set off. The air was freezing. Mosskit shivered. Bluefur led them through the dirtplace tunnel, like they would do if ShadowClan were really invading, as their mother said.

"It's huge out here!" Stonekit meowed in awe, while Mistykit wrinkled her nose at the stench of the dirtplace.

Bluefur helped them up the ravine.

"I think I see a ShadowClan warrior!" Mistykit warned.

"Where?" Bluefur asked as if she was actually worried.

Mistykit purred. "Only pretend."

Bluefur sighed and they continued on.

"Does the forest go on forever?" Stonekit wondered aloud.

Their mother shook her head. "ThunderClan has enough territory to feed us and keep us strong," she said.

"It's not feeding the Clan at the moment," Mistykit commented, referring to their lack of prey.

"You should see it in greenleaf." Suddenly, Mosskit saw Bluefur look pained, as if she'd realized something. But it didn't last long before she kept talking. "There are squirrels and birds and mice. Good hunting when you know the right techniques."

"Redpaw already taught me the hunter's crouch!" Stonekit boasted.

"That's wonderful, darling," Bluefur purred.

Stonekit demonstrated perfectly and Bluefur asked Mistykit and Mosskit to do the same.

"The snow is too cold!" Mistykit protested.

Bluefur stopped abruptly and led them on.

"Can we go home now?" Mosskit pleaded, "Its cold and I'm tired." She was shivering horribly.

Getting Stonekit out of a drift, Bluefur meowed, "We have to keep moving."

"I don't want to play this game anymore!" wailed Mistykit. Stonekit seemed to agree, his teeth rattling and Mosskit huddled next to Mistykit.

"I can't feel my paws!" Stonekit announced, not moving.

Bluefur paused. "I have an idea." She left and for a few dreadful moments Mosskit thought she wasn't going to return. But when she did and placed them all in a small hole in the ground, Mosskit let out a breath of relief.

"We thought you weren't coming back!" Mosskit meowed, her eyes wide.

"Oh, my precious kits," Bluefur murmured, " I'll always come back."

She took them from hole to hole. They all begged to go back.

"Not yet," Bluefur insisted, "There's someone you have to meet first."

Bluefur didn't answer when Mistykit asked who; she only let them down to rest. Mosskit curled up with Mistykit, closing her eyes. The last words she heard were:

"Mom, did we win?"

"Yes, little one. You did."

Then she didn't wake up.

**A/N: So this was obviously just a recap on how she died. I did use Bluestar's Prophecy to help me write it, so I won't take any credit for that. I just switched it to Mosskit's point of view. The next chapter will start the story. She'll basically be living her entire life, becoming an apprentice, a warrior, and growing up in StarClan. I'll try to update soon!**

**~Rainmist**


	2. Entering StarClan

**A/N: This is technically the first chapter in this. I hope you like it!**

Chapter 1

"Mosskit, come along," a gentle voice murmurs.

"Huh?" Groggily, Mosskit blinks open her eyes to see a pretty white she-cat in front of her. "Who-who are you?"

" I'm Snowfur," she answers.

Stretching her blue eyes, Mosskit asks, "My mother's sister? Then that must mean I'm..."

Grief passes over Snowfur's face. "Yes. I'm sorry. You were so young."

"What about Mistykit and Stonekit?"

"They're with your father," Snowfur replies, then adds quickly, "Your real father. Oakheart of RiverClan."

"RiverClan?" In dismay, Mosskit realizes what Snowfur means. " I'm Half-Clan?"

With a sad nod, Snowfur says, "It's true. But you will not be judged here. Come. I have much to show you."

Mosskit follows Snowfur to a nice hollow that reminds her of ThunderClan's camp. A red-brown tom shows himself.

"Hello, Mosskit. I've been watching you," he addresses the kit. " I'm Pinestar."

"The kittypet?" Mosskit squeaks, then clamps her jaws shut, embarrassed at her outburst.

But Pinestar merely gives a slight laugh. "Yes, the kittypet. I left my Clan to be with twolegs. But StarClan accepted me when I died and here I am."

Another cat, a silver-gray she-cat with pale yellow eyes approaches. "Is this her?" She asks Snowfur.

"This is Mosskit," Snowfur confirms.

"Am I supposed to know you?" Mosskit looks at her.

The she-cat purrs. "No, I died long before you were born and before your mother even became a warrior. My name is Moonflower. I'm Bluefur's mother."

Mosskit stares at her in awe. "Really?"

Moonflower dips her head. " Bluefur had made me so proud and you must understand that what she did was for the best."

"W-what are you talking about?" Mosskit suddenly feels nervous.

A brief glance is exchanged by Snowfur and Moonflower before Snowfur speaks up.

"Your mother took you to Sunningrocks to give you to your father."

"But she loves us! She'd never do that!" Mosskit protests.

Moonflower agrees, "She didn't want to. But she had to."

"Why?" Mosskit wails. "Why would she have to do something like that?"

"To save her Clan," Pinestar breaks in.

"But how could giving us up possibly save ThunderClan?" Mosskit's eyes fill with hurt.

Gazing at her softly, Snowfur meows, "She must become leader of ThunderClan. If she does not, then Thistleclaw will lead our Clan into war. It would kill us all."

Mosskit looks at her. "I thought Thistleclaw was your mate."

An expression of something unreadable passes over Snowfur's face. "Sometimes cats make mistakes."

Before Mosskit can reply, Pinestar pipes up. "It's time for you to learn what it's like in StarClan."

Both Moonflower and Snowfur bow their heads and leave. Pinestar leads Mosskit deeper into StarClan's territory. Mosskit draws her gaze over her surroundings. She knows the forest she left behind was cold and snowy but here the sun shines warmly on her gray and white fur. The forest looks plentiful with prey and cats all get along.

Several different cats mew greetings as they pass by. Mosskit doesn't recognize any of them, but Pinestar says she will one day.

They reach a small clearing with a pool in the middle. It looks as if all of Silverpelt is reflected on its surface. She touches the sheet of silver water, sending a slight ripple through the pool. It returns to its gentle state when the tiny wave splashes on the shore, slapping her paws playfully.

"Where are we?" Mosskit breathes.

Pinestar smiles. "This is the Reflection Pool, where we receive prophecies and see the Clanmates we've all left behind." He gives her a nudge of encouragement. "It's okay to look, Mosskit."

She peeks into the pool and gasps. The stars vanish and she sees Mistykit and Stonekit at the belly of a gray queen she doesn't recognize.

"Graypool, how are they?" A reddish-brown tom walks into view through the pool and places a fish at the queen's paws.

"Just fine, Oakheart," she sighs, taking a bite from the fish.

Mosskit glances up from the vision. "That's my father?"

Pinestar nods. "Yes."

Mosskit looks back, but the image is gone. Disappointment edges her mind. She wanted to know more about her father.

"Another time," promises Pinestar, seeming to read her thoughts. "Now, you must be hungry."

Mosskit's belly rumbles. She ducks her head in embarrassment. "A little."

With a purr, Pinestar says, "Then let's eat."

He leads her to a spot where fresh-kill towers. Cats surround it, talking peacefully and laughing with their friends. Mosskit couldn't believe how at ease they were.

"Aren't they from different Clans though?" She asks, confused.

"There are no borders in StarClan. Here, we're all equals." Pinestar pauses and adds, "Even kits."

" I'm the equal to a warrior?" Mosskit inquires.

With a simple mew, Pinestar respond with, "Yes, you are."

"Do I get to learn how to hunt and fight?" She wonders aloud in excitement.

"All in good time, though we really have no need for fighting here," Pinestar muses.

"I still want to learn!" Mosskit insists. "That way I'll feel like a real warrior!"

Purring, Pinestar accepts, "Okay, but first let's eat. I don't know about you, but I'm starving!"

Mosskit agrees with another growl from her stomach and shares a mouse with ThunderClan's previous leader.

When they finish, Pinestar once more takes her somewhere unknown. But Mosskit bounds after him, no longer intimidated by the older cats.

"Come, Mosskit," Pinestar invites, "There's one more cat I'd like you to meet."

**A/N: I'm going to stop there for the first chapter. Please review telling me what you think! I'm open to constructive criticism, so long as it isn't straight-out flaming. If there's something you'd like me to add or be more descriptive about in my story, I'd be happy to hear your suggestions!**

**~Rainmist**


	3. The Friend I Would Have Never Had

**A/N: I think you'll like this chapter. I've added I'm some more stuff not very well explained in the books.**

Chapter 2

Pinestar takes Mosskit to a concealed part of the forest. It seems well-hidden and the trees are densely packed together, as if trying to shield something. Four dark figures appear to be looming in the very heart of the forest.

"What is this?" Mosskit flicks her gaze all over the place. "Where are we?"

"We're where it all began," Pinestar responds, staring off at the starlit sky.

Mosskit gasps, seeing what he means. This forest is exactly like the one back where ThunderClan is! Four trees stand tall in a clearing.

"This is Fourtrees," Pinestar answers her unspoken question.

"Where all the Clans meet under the full-moon truce?"

A purr rumbles in Pinestar's throat. "You're smart, aren't you? Where did you learn all this?"

Memories flash in Mosskit's head.

_"Please tell us! What's it like to go to a Gathering?" Mistykit begged._

_Bluefur's blue eyes gleamed. "You really want to know?"_

_"Yes!" Stonekit insisted._

_Mosskit joined her siblings' protests._

_"Alright," Bluefur finally agreed. "Well, there are four huge trees standing around, which is what gives Fourtrees its name. There's a Great Oak in the center where all four leaders sit to address the Clans. Cats from all of our territories gather to exchange news and talk peacefully."_

_"But I heard some cat started a fight at the last Gathering!" Mosskit butted in._

_A flicker of unease passed through Bluefur's eyes. "Yes, dear, but that's in the past. The Gathering is a time of truce."_

"Mosskit?" Are you okay?" Pinestar's concerned mew brings Mosskit back.

"Huh?" She shakes off the echo of her memory. "Oh, yes, I'm fine."

Pinestar looks unsure, but doesn't protest and they soon exit the forest. They end up at a darker part of StarClan.

"Where are we?" Mosskit inquires, darting her gaze around nervously.

Pinestar replies with, "Where someone I believe you'll be able to relate to lives."

A thick, old willow tree hangs over a river. As they get closer, Mosskit realizes there is a cat under the tree. Her fur is almost too dark to see.

Then, Mosskit feels the breeze surrounding the river and notices one odd feature this car has: She's not only small; this cat is the same age as Mosskit!

Her entire body comes into view and Mosskit sees her very dark brown tabby pelt that, like all the other cats around here, contains starlight. When the kit turns, a pair of glowing yellow eyes meet her own blue eyes.

The kit seems both cautious and excited to see Mosskit. "Who is she?" She asks Pinestar.

"This is Mosskit," he tells her. Then Pinestar turns to Mosskit. "I'd like you to meet Briarkit. She's the daughter of two cats who shouldn't have been together, either, but I'll let her explain that. I've a feeling you have much to learn from each other."

"Hello," Mosskit greets her awkwardly once Pinestar leaves.

Briarkit smiles. "Hi! As he already said, I'm Briarkit. Who were your parents?"

"Bluefur and, um, Oakheart," Mosskit says quietly.

Briarkit winces in sympathy. "Sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Mosskit mews. "I don't have to deal with cats doubting my loyalty like my brother and sister might have to. Anyways, you're Half-Clan, too?"

She shakes her head. "My birth broke more than the Warrior Code."

"What do you mean?" Mosskit leans slightly closer.

"Both my parents are ShadowClan," Briarkit murmurs. "My mother is a medicine cat, though. She goes by the name Yellowfang."

"Yellowfang?"

"She used to be a warrior, until StarClan called her to be a medicine cat. Maybe if she'd stayed a warrior, I wouldn't have died." Briarkit gazes off across the river.

"Who was your father?" Mosskit wonders aloud. "If you don't mind my asking."

"Not at all." Briarkit looks at Mosskit. "My father is Raggedstar, ShadowClan's leader."

"Oh." Mosskit doesn't know what to say. She'd thought her own birth was bad; but it seemed that Briarkit's could actually be worse.

"So I guess we really aren't that different, are we?" Briarkit muses.

"I guess we aren't," agrees Mosskit with a small smile.

"Mosskit!" Snowfur's voice echoes across the river. "It's time for something important!"

Mosskit sends Briarkit an apologetic look. "Sorry, I guess I have to go."

"Don't be. All StarClan members have something important at one point or another. I suppose it has something to do with your mother," says Briarkit intelligently.

"How do you-" Mosskit gets cut off by Snowfur once more.

"Come on! We're going to watch your mother's ceremony!"

At that, Mosskit perks up and bounds over to Snowfur. "See you, Briarkit!" She calls as she follows Snowfur to the Reflection Pool.

Moonflower and Pinestar are already there with a few cats Mosskit doesn't recognize. But she understands enough to know this is supposed to be quiet.

She looks in and watches her mother with pride.

_Sunstar stands tall and proud on the Highrock. "Tawnyspots, ThunderClan thanks you for your loyalty and courage. You have served your Clan well and we wish you a peaceful rest of your life in the elders' den, sharing your wisdom and stories to the newer members of our Clan along the way."_

_The whole of ThunderClan cheers for the previous deputy._

_"Bluefur," Sunstar addresses Mosskit's mother, "You will be ThunderClan's deputy from this day forward. May StarClan grant you the courage to help your Clan face whatever lies in its path. And when the time comes, I pray you will shine on at the head of our Clan."_

The vision ended with the Clan calling out their approval and StarClan purred their own approval around the pool.

"Our wish has been fulfilled," Moonflower sighs happily. "Bluefur will make an excellent leader."

"Yes," Snowfur agrees, "She will."

Mosskit watches as the cats around her dissolve into the trees and can't help wondering if her life meant anything to Bluefur at all.

**A/N: How did you like it? I wanted to add Yellowfang's kit in their because I know she had three kits: two she-kits and a tom, but only Brokenkit survived. The other two weren't mentioned after that and were completely forgotten. I haven't read Yellowfang's Secret, so if those two kits were actually named, can someone tell me so I can go back and fix that?**

**~Rainmist**


	4. Important!

**IMPORTANT:**

**Because of school, I'm currently unable to work on stories. Therefore, I'm closing this story for right now. I'll still be posting one shots every once in a while, just not complete stories. I apologize to all of you who were looking forward to updates.**


End file.
